tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
