i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
