I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
