I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
