I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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