well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
