Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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