We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i think im in europe. pls send help
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
