We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my poor anus
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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