My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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