I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
