This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
should my penis look like a turkey
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
