SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
