Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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