Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
