five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
