K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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