One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just pee around me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
