no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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