it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Who died my cat blue again?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
