i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize