You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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