I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
