first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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