This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
