I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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