Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
