doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
