Buhtt sex?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
