I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
