If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
