We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
