Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
