im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
