Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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