I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
