Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
