She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
