No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
