I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
