i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
