you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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