I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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