miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
