I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
