I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
