We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
