okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize