it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
