At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
