So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Too much gin, very little bucket
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
