i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
