why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
