Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish you could order shots online.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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