Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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