Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
