peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
